August 2010
July 2010
Well.. I’ve already drifted away from a gazillion ppl. All for its own reasons of course, maybe a good amount for no reason at all, lol =) `Either way, there’s nothing I need to say to them. If you’re not in my life, I see it as your lost LOL. Cuz the people I do have are more than I can ever ask for <3. And honestly, I believe in switching things up. If the people you’re around don’t motivate you or really aren’t doing a damn thing for your life… GET NEW PEOPLE. I swear there are people out there who wants to see you happy & excel in life instead of keeping you at their sad, sad standstill. Regardless of what others might think, I truly think you are who you’re around; SO MAKE A WISE CHOICE. I don’t need bad influence in my life & I certainly don’t need to dwell on anyone I use to be close with cuz there’s a reason why we aren’t close now. Plus, the main person I would worry drifting away from (who you would also think has drifted away for a while now) is actually still close to me and might be forever. In other words, [I’m more than good].
For all the times I treated you wrong babie, I’m sorry. I was young & stupid; I didn’t know how to act right. I thought you forgave me but I guess I was wrong on that too since the argument still goes on to this day. But I ain’t asking for forgiveness anymore; it doesn’t matter and I don’t even want it. I gave my all to prove to you that side of me doesn’t exist anymore but it wasn’t good enough, you just continued to exaggerate everything & hurt me. How dare you hold a grudge on me for something that doesn’t even compare to your acts. You’re gunna hate yourself when you finally realize what you gave up. My heart was always in the right place and you’ll be sorry you left it in pieces. Fuck your forgiveness.
Not worth me thinking/speaking about. He knows who he is & he knows he’ll regret what he’s done; that’s all that matters.
Hmmm, a part of me wishes I could talk to George Steinbrenner actually. I mean, being the gigantic Yankee fan that I am of course I’d want to talk to the man who really made the organization everything it is. Howeverrrrr, a bigger part of me wishes I could talk to one of my biological grandfathers. I know one of them is actually gone while the other one could still be alive & I’d have a single clue. =/ My grandfather on daddy’s side died when he was only 6 months old and I have a feeling he’s a great man just like his son so I’d love to speak to him. As for my mother’s side, all I really know is that he was an American pilot during the Viet Nam war when he obviously got together with my grandma lols (complicated story). We don’t know much about him but a chance to talk to him and know a part of myself and a whole other part of my family would be absolutely amazing. But uhh, since none of the above can happen I’m just gunna end it right here haha, welp.
but that first cut is the deepest
i tried to keep us together,
you were busy keeping secrets” —Drake, “Karaoke”
the words say it all. <3
Well, naturally when you spent years talking to someone day in and day out, you’re going to miss that so unfortunately I do have to admit that the “someone” for today would be my babie. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to him again, which is nice until I come back to reality. Or maybe the reality is that he’s only there for however long before he vanishes again. I don’t know. It does put a smile to my face though even if it’s momentary. As for everyone else, I’ve learned that you’re going to lose friends or at least lose touch with them as you grow up. Like you wish you guys could talk like you used to but when you’re at completely different places in life.. its tough. Especially if you’ve made progress and they’ve been at a standstill. It’s kind of disheartening but it’s a part of life. I cherish the people I have now and that’s really all that matters. When it comes to my friends, I really don’t talk to them all as much as I’d like. But there’s a big part of me that’s a loner and really don’t even want to. LOL, as much as I love them - I’m not the type that needs to talk to people constantly. My own time is very precious to me, no offense! =)
Is Derek Jeter too obvious of an answer? Haha it is. So that’s not my answer =) I.. want to meet an avatar. Howwww about that! Lol, I’m deadass a lame and finally seen that movie for the first time today and it’s actually as amazing as everyone made it out to be. That rarely ever happens! Pandora is absolutely breath-taking and ‘The People’ are such gorgeous creatures. I WANNA MEET ONE!!!! Shit, I wanna be one. Hahah, I know it’s out of the question but fuck it - it’s my wish!